How To Get More Oxytocin Flowing Through the System 🚀🚀🚀

Josia Nakash
5 min readFeb 8, 2020
Dr. Melissa HughesSpeaker | Author | Columnist | Neuroscience Geek

Last week I wrote about how the newcomers always bring the jet fuel. This week SIX WOMEN who are newcomers — Melissa, Juliet, Shelby, Dalice, Mali, & Sondra — really brought the jet fuel in a big way. (Some have been connected to us all along — it’s just the first time they joined the Friday call). So many incredible women helping make this shift of consciousness happen.

There is often a “I KNOW WHAT I’M GOING TO HIGHLIGHT FROM THIS CALL” moment when that light bulb goes off in my head. This week it was when Dr. Melissa Hughes started talking about how to get oxytocin flowing through the system.

Thrilled we’re finally getting down to the science of why these HumansFirst calls make us all feel so high. Good thing we had an actual neuroscience geek on the call with us to explain it so beautifully.

Melissa told us how Shelby was talking about the neuro science of love — how we can’t release oxytocin (the love hormone) when we have high levels of cortisol: “Stress is already there in the workplace and we’re expecting people to be more present. It’s impossible until they calm that cortisol — then they can release more oxytocin.

Clearly when we feel positively connected to a social group — our body generates oxytocin — the hormone that makes us feel happier and healthier.

Melissa: When oxytocin flows, it’s where all the higher level thinking happens. Cortisol puts a pause on that flow, to deal with the threat.

Juliet: How to create that trust, those bonds on your team; focusing on how to create that love /euphoria in your brain and bring it to your team. Which means not leading from above — you’re leading from within.

Chris Ward: We have a choice to choose love or fear — we need to look after ourselves to be able to do it. It was wonderful to have Chris’ son Nick Ward join us for the first time. This is a father and son team helping companies get more empathy.

According to Michael Laitman, the next great revolution will be of the mind — understanding that we simply can’t function in our current mode of operation. The egoistic model is no longer sustainable and something will have to come in its place.

Back to the beginning of the call —

In the opening gratitude exercise Teresa spoke about how she is grateful for technology. How she can meet her virtual (HumansFirst) family, and with the click a button — feel the love.

Juliet: “I believe every individual has uniqueness.” So rather that trying to fit in like we all do, she recommends trying to “fit out” so we’ll be able to give back more to society.

The topic this week was LOVE. What’s your experience of love in action at work? Visible, invisible or off-limits?

Every workplace expresses love differently — but there are some very clear things that allow the love to flow, while other things like stress and fear choke all the good energy out of the environment. An HR pro in Israel explained to me that the way people interact in their company is different in every region: In Asia people are a bit closed off, in America they are polite, and here in Israel we are completely open.

In my breakout room I was surrounded by greatness: Debbie, Quinn & Mike were discussing how we got to this point, and ways we can turn it around. Mike was questioning why is it perfectly normal nowadays to use profanities in such a casual way; but when you start talking about love — everyone gets nervous. One of the solutions we discussed is education. I said it’s more than our formal education — it’s the examples we see all around us every day in society. Look how many terrible examples of violence kids are exposed to every single day. How can we create a better environment? I suggested getting anyone benefiting from federal aid started on that education immediately.

Mike Sr. Vacanti: “There are strange measures in place. We measure people in the workplace with a standard for comparing us to others, rather than measuring personal growth. But when we bring the whole person in — love flows naturally. Compassion changes how we collaborate. It’s a different type of glue.”

Antoni: When there’s no friction, it just flows …

Quinn: “We all do better when we care for each other — how do we do that?” Then he said something really profound: “Even when you start faking it, it starts feeling better, catches its own momentum. Then you keep reintroducing it and not letting it slide. Don’t let the top performer get away with being a jerk.”

Mike Sr. Vacanti: “Everyone is busy. Just an excuse for saying I don’t care. Making time. Those are acts of love. It’s a feeling we can express without having to say it …When they feel cared for we don’t have to tell them — they already know.”

Dalice — “You can still make the tough business calls — the cuts, etc. but do it with empathy ….”.

Thanks to our host Kevin Monroe for mentioning this stunning Love Take Actions Superbowl commercial from New York Life:

New York Life Superbowl commercial — LOVE TAKE ACTIONS

A quote from the sages —

“And once I have acquired the clothing of love, sparks of love promptly begin to shine within me. The heart begins to long to unite with my friends, and it seems to me that my eyes see my friends, my ears hear their voices, my mouth speaks to them, the hands embrace, the feet dance in a circle, in love and joy together with them…”.

(The Rabash, “Love of Friends”)