HumansFirst — Advancing Toward The Light Together
The theme for this week’s call was how we deal with “the darkness” we all feel from time to time. We were reminded how many of the people who participate in these calls, found us after experiencing the darkness.
This discussion reminded me of the darkest hour of my life, standing at the window of my parents’ top floor, looking out at the valley. I don’t remember exactly how long I did that for after losing my second sister, but I remember feeling everything shattered inside. Total blackness.
I was just beginning my adult life and I remember wondering if I would ever laugh again. I would listen to Natalie Cole’s Smile over and over. I had absolutely no tools for coping with what I was feeling. Nothing in life had prepared me for it.
So back to our HumansFirst call yesterday. Right when it began I received a message that my friend’s son’s school in New Jersey had received a threat. I felt a need to share this with everyone to remind us how important it is to generate these positive pockets of energy like we’re doing. This is the only way to minimize these negative occurrences. My private Jewish school in Montreal used to get similar threats like this back in the ‘70’s. It really makes you wonder why we are still advancing in this primitive way decades later, without any real tools to control our destiny.
Kevin Monroe started off the call reading from his post where he quoted Bernadette Jiwa’s People Want Places, Not Platforms
“Do you see all those people who whipping their smartphones out as soon as they get on the train or stand in a queue? They’re not just avoiding boredom, they’re searching — but not only for information, or laughs, or updates. They are searching for a feeling of connection.
We want places to go and places to be. Places to kill time and places that make us feel a little less lonely in the moment. Places to learn. Places to share. Places that make us feel safe, or smart, or welcomed, or funny, or hopeful for the future. But most of all, we want places to belong and places where we feel like we matter.”
“We’re all longing for a place — a place where we belong — that’s what we seek to create here.” Kevin Monroe
Right before we went into the breakout rooms to discuss how we can create a safe space for dealing with all these very human things, our dear friend Oleg (one of the youngest people in these calls) talked about how grateful he was for life.
Some highlights from our discussion about how we go about creating this purposeful environment together, and how it requires letting go of things from our past:
Mike Sr. Vacanti — How do we surround ourselves with the people you need? As we look at relationships , growing through stages of our life …. to keep a healthy vine, it’s necessary to prune. Rather than have relationships that our nearest to us at the time that inhibit our growth; to be able to let go without this shame of letting go.
This is the point in the call where we took a deep dive into our collective consciousness, and a woman I was in a breakout room with suddenly felt very safe to share:
“I have a confession — I was in a dark place. But ever since learning about HumansFirst, I feel my spark coming alive again. I see this group as critical to being me again — so thank you.”
Then another woman shared: “That’s been exactly my experience. Coming from a place of being lost and disconnected . We are reclaiming ourselves here through connection & community.”
A third woman shared: “I have suffered the same. Two years ago I felt alone and not understood — one by one I got energized by many people here.”
Kevin Monroe expressed what we were all feeling: “I’m just deeply moved today.”
Oleg: Teresa Quinlan shared the analogy of having a candle and a light on a dark day. On my dark days — it’s one thing to rekindle that hope. You need to find that fire within to light that candle. No matter how difficult it gets you can start that fire. What really helps find it is connection. So I’m really grateful to share this space with every one of you, knowing you are the inspiration …
I had shared how the Jewish tradition for dealing with grief was just to go sit with the person — how there is no need to say anything.
Laura Sukorokoff — We think we need to come in and fix it — they just need the compassion and understanding and our presence.
Immediately following the call our friend Tetyana posted an incredible recap:
Today at HumansFirst Hangout we shared our experience of dark and difficult life moments. This is something we all can relate to; yet this topic is not fully explored and often tabooed in our society. There is a pressure to show successful image, smile, and nod your head: “I am Ok!” During our discussion the vibe in the chat room of 30 people felt meaningful and sacred. Why does it feel sacred to talk about our dark moments? It is not a random conversation. Though Kevin Monroe surprisingly chose it for today’s discussion. The need to integrate light and darkness and embrace the fullness of life is our deep spiritual need. It is our inner knowing of unity, interconnectedness, and desire for personal wholeness. We cannot shy away from dark moments and difficult conversations. We cannot avoid people in pain, or toxic energies, pretending that it’s not our business and that we can be joyful in isolation. Both joy and pain are meant to be shared and understood as this is shared energy of life. It is our connection.
Tricks for Overriding the Darkness
One of the biggest issues we deal with in spirituality is how to deal with the descents. In a nutshell, we have to have a system in place before the darkness hits us so that we will be safe no matter what, and not fall off the path. The path is challenging and designed to make us want to give up. So you need to set up your life in a way that keeps you in the game. This mainly involves surrounding yourself with like-minded people who are focused on the same goal. As I mentioned in the call, it also involves having a role in a group of like-minded people — a responsibility or task that obligates you to show up when your ego is pulling you in the other direction. When you put all these things together you have what we call ‘an environment’. So it turns out that all our efforts need to go into building this environment together, and constantly reminding one another how important this is.
Since Kevin & Tetyana took us for a deep dive into our collective consciousness — I want to share the tools I discovered after many years of trying to deal with the darkness on my own — these are excerpts from the wisdom of Kabbalah:
“One must work with his states as a current equalizer so that ascents and descents are accepted equally at full force. That is how we equalize all the states, and the darkness shall shine as Light. In reality, nothing changes but a person’s attitude that becomes more even toward the states that he goes through.” Michael Laitman, Accept Descents As Ascents
“This darkness, which is felt in the will to receive, can be turned to light only if we change the modus operandi of the will to receive into “in order to bestow.” In other words, if we use the will to receive in order to give to others, and enjoy the giving, we will become unbounded in our actions because one can give indefinitely.” Michael Laitman, From Darkness to Light
“The night is actually full of Light, but we are unable to see in the night since we lack the Light of love and bestowal (Hassadim) to see the Light. Only in the Light of Hassadim can we compel the Light of Hochma to reveal itself and to shine in the Light of Hassadim. The greater the Light of Hassadim, the greater the revelation.
Night or darkness is a state where I am in an ocean of the Light of Hochma, but I have no Light of Hassadim. If I begin developing inner qualities of love and bestowal (the Light of Hassadim), then the Light of Hochma begins to shine for me little by little. This means that I awaken dawn, the Light of morning, and then the day.” Michael Laitman, When Darkness Is Full Of Light
